Attitude

I have been feeling down for about a week. I feel tired, both mentally and physically. I have been working out for 76 of the last 80 days and that just takes a toll. The physical part is sort of hard, but not that bad really. It is the mental game I am having problems with. The biggest part of the workout thing is mental. Just knowing that you have to workout today is hard but really it isn't too bad. I can always jump off the couch and go for a run or a bike or whatever. But knowing that you have an obligation to workout tomorrow is much harder. It sounds weird, but it's true. 

I have told anybody who would listen that I am hurting and as of now, I am going to stop. First, nobody cares. If you tell somebody they are important or good looking or smart, they are happy to listen. If you tell the same person that you are having physical problems, they look at their watch and remember an appointment. Second, I need a new attitude and it starts now.

There are two kinds of people, those who believe and those who don't.  I am a believer.  I am.  I believe if you think you can do something, you can.  If you think you can't, you can't.  I believe.  So there it is.  I am telling myself and anybody who will listen that I feel good.  I expect good results.

The Bike Course

One of the dumbest things you can do in training for an Ironman is to predict something. Predict your time to finish, predict if you are going to finish faster than a friend, predict whatever, it is wrong to try to predict something you have no control over. You might show up and have tummy ache. Or a blown ACL. I can't predict my workout tomorrow, other than it is going to hurt right up until I get to Starbucks for a mocha with extra whip cream and chocolate and caramel drooled over the top. I can put two of those bad boys down. Easy. So, lesson number one, you can predict Starbucks drink consumption with near certainty, but predicting IM finish times is just something you can't do.

Unfortunately, due to a predisposition to idiocy on my part, which I blame on my bad fraternal genetics, I spend most of my waking hours thinking of the upcoming IM event. When I am at work, gazing at the wall, looking like I am thinking of something brilliant, I am actually calculating how long it will take me to finish the swim, based on my hundred yard swim time. I calculate my bike time based on my average pace. I calculate my run time based on hopeful fantasy. I add those together, throw in some impossibly fast transition time, ending up with a really fast IM. If only life were so simple.

So my training partner Duane drives over to Coeur d'Alene and rides one loop of the bike course. The bike is a two loop thing, mostly out and back on highway 95. Duane rode it once. He said it is freakishly hard. It is all hills. That sucks. It blows my prediction out of the water. I need to spend another full day at work calculating a new finish time.

I swam this morning. John and Jim and I did sprints for 30 minutes in the pool, next to some gal who is sixty pounds overweight, but still a better swimmer than I am. I hate her. She was such an arrogant swimmer. Swimming and swimming, faster than me, back and forth, up and down the pool. Fast. I bet her whole family hates her. I know I do. If I see her swimming again, I am going to pee in the pool and get out.

After the swim we biked for a couple hours out to Enumclaw and back. We stopped at Starbucks and had a grande mocha with extra whip cream and chocolate and caramel drool on the top. And a banana. And a hot ham and egg sandwich.

My coundown counter says 91 days, 12 hours, 42 minutes. I have that long to train. It isn't enough. I need another year. Another year to drop 15 pounds.

Oh ya, one more thing. A follower of this blog noted that I sound whiney. Whiney. Get that. Me. Whiney. I might, I admit, from time to time, rarely, maybe digress to some lower form of author that would engender reader mirth through lamentation, choosing that easy, more heavily trodden road over the higher, less traveled sanguine road, the self-actualization thing like Tony Freakin Robbins. I don't like him. I looked up some Tony Freakin Robbins quotes. Seriously, he actually said this shit.

A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.
Tony Robbins

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.
Tony Robbins

For changes to be of any true value, they've got to be lasting and consistent.
Tony Robbins

How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I'm committed to?
Tony Robbins

So crap. I can't be whiney. Fine. I will not do that. I will try to be upbeat and positive always. You have my promise. Just like Tony Freakin Robbins. Except for now, my knee hurts and I am hungry and I need to lose 15 pounds before my IM and I am tired and I want meat and ice cream which I can't have I can eat carrots and peas. And it seriously pisses me off that Tony Freakin Robbins is smarter than me, a better author than me, better at everything. I hate him and the gal in the pool.

Hot Yoga

I did hot yoga today after work. As the name would suggest, it is hot, and I do believe something akin to yoga was occurring with the other contestants. They were, to various degrees, stretching, arching, flexing and standing on fewer than two legs without falling. I was not. I think some of them must have read the instructions before showing up. I never do that. If I get a tool or a new appliance, I plug it in and make it go. If I can't figure out the knobs, I take it back.

Anyway, I was doing something not at all similar to yoga. What I was doing was grotesque, and was bothersome to the ladies that attended. Mostly ladies, that is. There were two guys with questionable intent were there as well. They decided to go shirtless. Perverts. I know it's hot. I get it. You sweat a lot in hot yoga. I know, I was there. But a great truth of life needs to be stated clearly and often, and that unassailable truth is thus; men over the age of forty don't look good with a shirtless wardrobe. We should all respect the law of physics. Age causes men to flab up and grow non-functional hair in odd places. It just is.

The hot yoga place should require men wear enough cloth to not be disgusting. Something that covers the entire hairy back would be a good start. This is not true of women. If they are in shape, have a belly button that isn't hidden by the Pillsbury dough boy tummy and didn't get a series of large tattoos during a drunken binge on their birthday, like a green frog the size of a dinner plate hopping around their middle section or life sized assault rifle their hip, then by all means, wear the mid-section revealing ensemble.

Is it acceptable to fart in yoga? I think yes. Please vote in the comments field if you feel strongly either way.

Knee Hurts

My knee hurts. I ran four days in a row, I think I want to rest it for a month or two. Apparently that isn't on the calendar.

St Paddys

This post isn't really about anything to do with St Patrick or wearing green or drinking green beer. I just wrote it on St. Patrick's day, hence the title.

I hate oncall. I hate everything about it. My oncall goes for a week, Monday to Monday, so 39.5 hours to go then it is somebody else's problem.

I haven't worked out as much as I wanted to this week because of oncall. I drive to the gym, I get called and have to go to work. I start to run, I get called and have to go to work. It sucks. Today I received a 4 hour reprieve since a good hearted co-worker was willing to fill in for me. I was so excited about getting a chance to workout, I tried to make up for lost work out hours. Big mistake. I got excited and pushed a little too hard. I swam for an hour, jumped out of the pool, then biked on a spin bike for an hour, then jumped on a treadmill for 40 minutes. It was a good workout, but I am tired now. I am thinking that if I can do a 3 hour event like today and feel OK, my plan in Ironman is to slow down maybe 10% and go longer. It't not a great plan, but its pretty much all I have come up with so far.

So that brings up a good question; Do you train at the speed you want to race at so that you can run at a familiar pace? Or do you train at a higher effort level and build a bigger base? I am doing the latter, not sure it is the right approach.

Back to today's workout, we did a long steady swim, I was swimming 58 second 50's. If I hold that pace, that equates to about an 84 minute swim time in Ironman. Not great. I just checked the finish times for IM Florida, most of the guys in my group with an 84 swim time barely finished under the 17 hour cut off. Super. On the other hand, I think I look good in my wetsuit, muffin top and all. Chicks dig a muffin top and I dig chicks that dig a muffin top. Everybody wins.

The Imaginary Workout

I have been working out every day for 2 weeks without a day off, which is a good thing. I feel good, I like it that I am making progress and it gets me out of the house. Everybody wins.

My job doesn't run quite so smoothly. I am on-call this week, which means my life isn't my own for 7 days. For the next 168 hours, I am just hating life. Everything pisses me off. The dog sleeping in the corner sends me into a rage. Useless mutt.

Today, I was going to work out at the gym, I drive the 20 minutes in the dark and rain to get there, I just pull into the parking lot and the flippin' phone rings. Some losers from work on the other end of the call have decided that their problems are now my problems, they can't live unless I skip my workout, drive back home in the dark and rain, which is quickly turning to rain and snow mix, and fix their stupid problems. I drive home, in the snow, no workout for me. I get home, after two hours of working on the problem, it turns out that they unplugged their router. They plugged it back in, everything works. Isn't that odd how that works?

So that brings up another couple questions that I would like answers to.
1. Doesn't anybody think to check to see if the freakin' router is plugged in before calling me? Is it really that difficult? Really?
2. How far into hell am I going to be sent for the thoughts I am having right now? Is it just the edge of hell or do I get the direct flight to my final destination?
3. How far is my run going to fall off by missing a lift day?

Inside or Outside

There is a reason I live in the Northwest, and at one time in my life, it was a really compelling reason, but I can't remember what that reason is. Either I am getting too old and my memory is fading or it wasn't a very good reason to start with.

Anyway, it rains here all the time. For those of us that like to be outside for more than 30 seconds a day, the Northwest isn't a great choice, but there it is. We are outside and wet or inside and pissed off. There isn't a third option. It's depressing.

I just re-read what I typed and I like it a lot. For me, it's profound. 'Outside and wet or inside and pissed off.' That is as deep as I get, which is sort of depressing too.

So anyway, since it was raining yesterday, Jim and Duane and I did an indoor triathlon. We swam 45 minutes, then biked on a spin bike for about 50 minutes, then ran 45 on the treadmill. It was a good workout I guess. I was ready to be done at the end, so to me, that means it was a good workout.

I am reading a book called 'Going Long' by Joe Friel and Gordon Byrn. It's an Ironman training book. It has a lot of hints on how to optimize your training, how to be the best Ironman possible, what to eat before the event, things like that. If I was a better athlete I would try to do some of the stuff in the book, but as it is, if I just get through the workout without throwing up, it's a victory. Put that in your book, Joe. Chapter 5, Don't Barf. If you publish a new edition to your book and you use the 'Don't Barf' thing, I want the credit. And a share of the royalties.

Monday

Swam for 45 minutes this morning, 500 yards, then 10 fifty yard sprints, then 20 25 yard sprints, then a 500. I wanted to puke. Next time we do sprints, I am going to do 20 yards, then back float the last 5.

I tried to do flip turns, it didn't work out so well. I am not coordinated enough to do anything like that. Flip turns suck.

The Calendar Is A Burden

The daily schedule dictated by the calendar is a grind. We swim, bike, run, lift or what have you, based on the calendar. Question; how do you do an Ironman? Answer; get a calendar and stick to it. So I am told.

The calendar is a large thing, my friend, and it is picking up. The hours we are working out are getting big. Get this. We ran over an hour and a half this morning, then asked each other what time we could work out this afternoon. How is that for a frigged up system? The weekly calendar starts on Sunday, we ran a big run early this morning, and we are already behind and need two-a-days so we aren't further behind. Shit.

The cardio part of the workout is hard, but not bad. I think everybody on my team has the cardio to pull a full Ironman right now. Its hard, but not a huge limiting factor. The hardest part is the muscles get fatigued, the joints hurt, the tendons scream for relief. Knees, ankles, muscles, knees, hips, knees, shoulders, neck, knees, back, lower back, knees, upper back, left back, lower right back, they all hurt. It's way harder than I thought it would be. Shit.

So here is a free lesson; When you run, you need to carry your shoes, your clothes, maybe an ipod, plus your own body weight. The first 45 minutes are fine, any ass can run for 45 minutes. After 45, it gets harder. As you add distance, your body weight is pulling you down. The weight is the hard part of running. When you have to pick your foot up, you have to pick up your own weight. Each step is hard. Shit.

But the workout isn't the only hard part. The calendar itself is a burden. It weighs heavy on the mind and the soul. It weighs you down and is a drain on your ability to get up in the morning, your ability to be optimistic for the workout, your ability to start the run and mostly, to finish. The calendar, and it's schedule are heavy things. It's like an extra workout every day.

111 days to go. Shit.

PS - Jim and I rode our bikes this afternoon. We ride well together, I think. Jim has always been a strong bike rider. I try to be. Last year, we were evenly matched, we could ride the same speed on the same road and take turns pulling at the front. Today I was pulling up a hill, Jim goes by me like I am standing still. He spun me like a top. Jim is down twenty pounds since last year, I am up 3, maybe that explains it. Shit.

Cars and Bikes

A guy I know got hit by a car while riding his bike. He is in the hospital in critical condition. Say a prayer or keep him in your thoughts or whatever it is you do. He was just riding to work and didn't deserve this.