Cheesecake

I racked up 350 miles over the past two days driving to visit the extended family and share the Christmas experience with the people I love. I packed my wife and progeny and a few presents in the family truckster then hit the road, participating in the Christmas eve travel experience with drivers of both persuasions, gruntled and disgruntled. Why does everybody honk at me on Christmas eve? Its a mystery.

We got to my Sister's house, went to her Christmas eve party then spent the night in the barn. At least, its sort of a barn. Its really an apartment with a bedroom, kitchen and bath that is attached to her barn, so when you stay there, everybody says 'Did you stay in the barn?' Yes I did. Now, I don't know the technical difference between a barn and a manger, but I slept in one of them, and it being Christmas eve and all, I feel really pious.

On Christmas morning, we stopped at Starbucks on the way home to get some legal stimulants, but they were closed for the holiday. Apparently, during the holiday season, Starbucks employees spend the day with family. I chauffeur.

I start my training cycle for Kona on January second. Until then, I am eating as much cheesecake as I can jamb down my trap. I don't know why. I think I read somewhere that cheesecake is workout power food. This time around, I am planning on doing more weight lifting, more yoga and more running than my past training cycles. I have a small hope that this gets me ready to show up in Kona and not embarrass myself. Its a pipe dream, but it's my pipe dream and it's all I have.

Do you ever watch those shows on the Discovery Channel showing how the icecap is melting and a mommy polar bear stands on a tiny chunk of ice and cant feed her baby polar bears and they play sad music and ask you to send money? I watched about four seconds of one of those and changed the channel. I don't need more depression. I ran today and that is enough depression for a whole herd of polar bears. When I ran, it was cold and it was raining and I ran slow. And my knee hurt. My knee hasn't hurt in a year and it sucked to run today.

 I think I am in purgatory. If I lost some weight I would be OK or if I ate more cheesecake power food, my knee would feel better, but I am stuck in this middle ground and that isn't good for anybody.  Lose weight or eat more cheescake power food?  What to do? What to do?

For Christmas, I ordered some new 2XU compression shorts.  For me. Then , I ordered new, guaranteed to make you faster Brooks size 13EE. Again, for me. And my cycling bibs were worn down, so I ordered up some of those too. Beat that.

I am doing the Kona half and I am 90% sure I am going to sign up for the Lake Stevens half. Its gonna be a big year.

Breath

Sometimes we need to look in the rear view mirror to see something real about ourselves. It's the story of my life, and I think maybe a few others suffer from a similar optically flawed self reflection. We see ourselves as we wish we were, not as we are. We see others clearly, but the one person we should know the best, we know the least. Crap. I hate that.

Impatience:  When I was fifteen, I couldn't wait to turn sixteen so that I could drive. I just blew through that year without taking the time to enjoy it. I spent all my effort trying to get away from my stupid parents, my idiot teachers, my lame friends. I didn't have a plan other than just get as far away as possible and I thought if I could get a license, it would all work out. If only I could get a license, all of those lesser humans that were holding me back from my limitless potential would then realize their error and let me go be king of..something. It seemed reasonable at the time. I breezed through that year and it was really a waste. When I turned sixteen, I got my license, I got to drive and nothing changed other than I had to work every spare second to fund my new automotive addiction. I didn't get the freedom I wanted, but I did waste what could have been a great year.

Fear:  On the day I was married, I was just trying to get through the day without killing the new family. I might have enjoyed the day if I hadn't been so eager to just get it over with. In retrospect, I now realize I was afraid of just about everything. Marriage to someone I didn't really know. Commitment and all that that implied. Sharing a toothbrush and a toilet seat. No way was I letting somebody use my toothbrush or my personal toilet seat.  I was, and I remain committed to a life built on below average intellect, but I was smart enough to know that while I didn't know what responsibility was, it was a really bad thing and, much like gonorrhea, and should be avoided at all costs.
All these things are bad things.  Commitment, sharing, responsibility.  All bad.  On my wedding day, I was locked up with fear and I missed what could have been a really good day.

I could do it better:  When the kids were five, I used to hate Saturdays. I had to miss college football, and I am still bitter about that. You only get so many football Saturdays, right? I had to drive the kids to a soccer game that they completely screwed up. I mean, if they have just listened to me they would have scored like six goals each. "Kick the ball into the net.  Kick the ball into the freakin' net!"
No, wait, I have a better idea. Why couldn't I play instead?  I could have kicked ass. I got game, right? Why do the kids get to play every freaking Saturday while I suffer on the sidelines watching them miss another goal. And another. Let me play. I pay the bills. I should at least get to sub in.  I could run circles around those five year-olds.

A month ago, I did Ironman AZ. When you do yours, here is what not to do.

Impatience:  Don't just rush through it, hoping for a better situation when it is over. It doesn't get any better. What do you hope to improve on? The day is one and done. It doesn't get any better, so take a minute to enjoy it.  You aren't going to be blowing a sponsorship opportunity. I am not saying you should pack a lawn chair and take a nap.  I am saying you can compete and enjoy it along the way.  The family is there, friends are there, people you have never met before are cheering for you until they lose their voice. What could be better? Enjoy every minute. Every second. Are you in pain? Embrace it. Are you feeling frisky?  Throttle back there big guy and don't event think about picking it up past your race plan pace.  You have a race plan, right?

Fear:  Don't be afraid of what you don't know. Nothing bad can happen. Suck in some water on the swim? Maybe. So what? Crash your bike? Maybe. You will just pick yourself up and carry on. And you will have a great scar to show your friends. Run until you barf? Probably. So what?  Nothing bad will happen that you can't fix.  Just know that even though it is new, it's nothing to be afraid of.

When I was training, I spent a lot of mornings at the pool. 5 AM, swimming laps at the stupid pool. It sucks and I hated it.  How many times do I have to do that?  I spent a lot of days running ten, twelve, fifteen miles. I hated that.  Before I did it, I was afraid that Ironman would just be one long, bad training day. It isn't. I don't know why but it isn't that at all.

I could do it better:  Really? You can win? You can beat everybody else? Then do it. Don't talk about it, do it. In the meantime, while you travel back from fantasy land, realize there are some really good athletes that are getting beat by better athletes. If you hang your hat on having a better race than your buddy, you are going to be disappointed.  You can do what you can do, and a little bit more.  Do that.

In the meantime, enjoy your day. Smile. Ironman is your day. It's put together with one idea; to let you achieve something bigger and better than you have known before. Fill your lungs with it. Breath it in.   

The Year Behind, Kona Ahead

Six months ago, my employer sent me to Phoenix for a week. I was told to pack a bag, catch the Sunday red-eye and not return for five days. I learned later that the fiscal quarter was approaching and the company thought I would do less damage to the stock price if I wasn't in the office distracting my co-workers. I think that was a win-win. Everybody wins. I got to go hang out in the sunshine and the Dow-Jones didn't fall off the cliff.

One of the great things about the upcoming new year is the opportunity it affords us to participate in a short period of self-evaluation; we can conduct a calm, rational review of our successes and failures. Perhaps we might identify areas where we fall short and set in motion a plan to improve our lot in life. Its a good thing. For instance, you might look at the past year, realize you could give a bit more to a charity, or you could stop beating your wife or maybe refrain from flipping off old people who made you two minutes late for work because they were crossing the street with a walker. Whatever is appropriate for you.

While I was thinking about that, I had another thought; What are the defining moments in our lives and what do we do to control how those moments impact us? For instance, and this is just a what-if, what if you see a car crash and a person lying in the road not breathing? Do you conduct CPR? Or just drive away? And if you do choose to put on your good Samaritan hat, and you are performing CPR and look up to see that the hearse was in a fender bender dumped this three days dead body on the street? Do you keep going with CPR?

For myself, some of my life defining moments are, in no particular order,

1. Finishing my first Ironman

2. Finishing my second Ironman

3. Watching this when I was a kid, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3mgmEdfwg
I am not sure how that defined my life, but it's darned funny.

Last week, I went to a 7am spin class with buddies. The very reliable car thermometer registered a frosty 9 degrees Fahrenheit on the way to class. No problem, we are going to be in a spin room and it will be a human-tolerable 68 degrees. For some reason, we had the front door open during class and I suffered frost bite. Or, maybe it just felt like frost bite. Whatever, it was cold. I guess I am OK now.

I ran twice this week. My right ankle is swollen and refuses to participate in any athletic actions for the next three days. And I have a blister on my left heel. Sigh.

168 days until the Kona half.