Join the Training Revolution

I am drinking coffee out of an Ironman branded coffee mug while I type this. I should get up and go run, but the coffee is pretty good and 'Law and Order' is on, so maybe I will just wait a bit and see what happens. Every time I drink out of my Ironman cup, I feel just a little closer to being ready for IM AZ. I am doing a lot of research on this topic, drinking coffee out of the cup, putting my feet up, storing gylocogen for future Ironman event use. I have read all the Ironman training books and I swear, the coffee cup training tip isn't in any of them. I share this with all my readers in the hope that someday, sanity and scientific methods are used in training, instead of fairy tales.  Running sucks and I think it does more damage than good.  The right coffee cup, used judiciously, can get you to Kona.

I look at it like Copernicus looked at the solar system. Every training expert claims that you need to run or swim or whatever to get ready for Ironman. I say no.  The earth is not the center of the solar system!  Running makes your knees hurt!  Am I the only one who sees the truth?  Get yourself a proper Ironman cup and drink your way to fitness. You don't need to run yourself to death to train for Ironman, you just need an Ironman coffee cup. Join the revolution!

I ran thursday morning. I was going to run four miles, but due to events beyond my control, I ended up running about five. I was running and as usual I got hot, so I took my sweatshirt off and left it on a rock by the side of the trail, planning on picking it up on the way back. My four mile training route isn't a loop, it's an out and back thing, so on the way back, I was hurting and I forgot to pick up my sweatshirt.  I ran past it. I was half way home before I remembered my sweatshirt.  I had to go back.  See!  It just proves my point.  If I had gone the coffee cup route, I wouldn't have forgotten the sweatshirt.  It all fits.  Copernicus and I see further, where others are blind.

So later that afternoon, my training buddies decide they want to swim. I didn't want to go because I know what happens when I run before I swim. I cramp. Everybody cramps when they swim after they run. It just happens. But I want to support my training buddies so I go swim. Big mistake. I am 15 minutes into an hour workout and my cramps start. My second toe on my right foot is the canary in the crampy coal mine. When it fires, I know the rest of my leg muscles are going to run straight to cramptown any minute. Sure enough, I lock up like a bank vault below the waist. I can barely get to the end of the 25 yard pool without crying like a school girl. I tried to elicit some sympathy from my training partners, explaining how bad my cramps are, they tell me to suck it up. My hands are under water so I flip them off. My middle finger isn't cramped yet so that is really the only thing I can do. It's a defense mechanism.