Smokey The Bear

Do you remember maybe thirty or forty years ago there was a commercial that showed a picture of a bear wearing a hat? The bear was holding a shovel and he said ' Only You can Prevent Forest Fires.' And he pointed right at you with his furry finger.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIGvdb9J1UU

That bear with the black eyes. That freakin' bear with the coal-black eyes and the lifesucking black heart, he pointed right at me with his furry finger. He accused me of all manner of mis-deeds with his fat furry finger. He said 'Only You'. Only Me. Only Me. Well, I was a very impressionable youth and I took that message to heart so when the news said that there was a forest fire that burned thousands of acres, I felt guilty. I woke up in the middle of the night in a fevered guilt-sweat. I could just see all those little Disney forest animals running for their lives. Flower, Thumper, Bambi, running away from the scathing murderous flame that I failed to prevent. All Dead. Because I couldn't save them. Or I wouldn't save them. My parents had me on suicide watch for a year because of Smokey The Freakin Bear. I hate Smokey the Bear.

Two nights ago I was getting ready for the following day, preparing my little piles of stuff.  It takes a while.
I had my backpack for work, with my laptop in it and all my work stuff.  Check.
I had lunch packed, with a sandwich, greek yogurt, banana, orange, fat-free pudding.  Check.
I had my workout bag, with stuff for yoga, because I was going to stop on the way home from work for yoga.  Check.
And, I had my swim stuff, goggles, swimcap and whatnot, for my 5:30AM swim.  Check.

My alarm goes off at 4;55AM, I get dressed, grab my four separate piles of stuff and get in the truck.  I was going to swim with the local triathlon group that meets twice a week. There are usually about twenty five or thirty swimmers that meet and for the most part, 90% of them are faster than me, which is not a big deal. It is what it is. I show up at the pool at 5:25, get dressed in the locker room, go out to the pool, put my goggles on, put my swim cap on, then I jumped in the pool. Everybody else got out. As soon as I get in, everybody else gets out. That's weird. A couple of them asked what I was doing. Some of them laughed and whispered to each other while they stared at me. Somebody asked if I had heard of daylight savings time. Somebody else asked if I forgot to set my clock ahead. I stare dumbly, trying to figure out how twenty five individuals could all have the wrong time. Group hypnosis?  Are they all on drugs?  I am thinking the newspaper headline would read

                                                   Mass Hysteria Strikes Swimmers.

            25 Swimmers Have The Wrong Time, Only 1 Swimmer Knows The Correct Time.

Somebody pointed at me and laughed. She pointed her furry Smokey The Bear finger at me. Doubt starts to creep in. I got out of the pool and made a hasty retreat to my car.

I ran last night. I was late for that too.