Opinions and Critiques

I was in Phoenix last week for work. I was suppose to be following my week eleven training calendar, but my employer decided it would be an incredibly funny joke on me to send me to Phoenix instead. It was nice, the high temp was 108 or some such number, but since I was in an air conditioned office for the duration, sitting at a desk staring at a laptop screen, I didn't get time to enjoy it. I was stuck inside and my workouts suffered.

I went to spin a couple times and I swam a couple times before work. That would be ok if I had a sprint or an olympic on the horizon. My goals are slightly higher and I need to train. I was sort of thinking my training buddies would pause their workouts in sympathy for my situation, but they decided to put in seven hours over the past weekend swimming and running and biking and playing grab-ass. I worked all week, then I worked over the weekend, then I sat in airplane next to an overweight gal who needed the seat belt extender and about one third of my seat in addition to her seat. Super. She did find room to knock down a giant size snickers bar and a regular size almond joy.  I feel sick just thinking about it.

At this point, I usually pause in my blog to recount what happened to me over the past few days regarding the young ladies who accosted me without invitation. I am not going to do that in this post. However, since most of the readers have come to expect these true stories, I feel bad that I don't have anything interesting to share for my past trip. It's not that I wasn't propositioned. I was, but it really wasn't that interesting.  The gal who tried to get me to break my wedding vow was a well built, highly flexible college junior with an overactive libido and a questionable sense of morality.  I mean, I just don't think I could do those things she was talking about without an oxygen mask and maybe a safety belt. I rebuked her so there isn't much to tell.  I do, however, want to share this one snippet:

I was on my way home, I had a sore throat from no sleep, my eyes were red and kept trying to shut on their own, I had a dirty baseball cap on and I needed to hawk up some nasty throat phlegm but in the interest of personal hygiene and in order to not get arrested, I didn't want to spit on the airport floor, so I swallowed it and my stomach tried to kick it back. I think I looked about as good as I felt. I went to the AlaskaAir check in gal, gave her my bag and twenty bucks, she promised to give the bag back in Seattle. I had to show her my drivers license, which she just glanced at. If I would have given her a high school ASB card, she wouldn't have noticed. I left her to care for my bag and went to security.

Next, I was 'pre-screened' by a gal with no gun, but she did have a walkie-talkie. She wanted to see my drivers license. She looked at it and gave it back. As I walked away, she noticed a gum wrapper on the ground and she grabbed it and put it in the waste can. I don't know what function she served but she seemed to take her job seriously. I felt like if I showed any sign of being a terrorist, she would have grabbed her walkie-talkie and hit me with it. Terrorism or littering, she was protecting America from both.

The next line that I waited in was to get another dose of non-lethal x-ray venom from the big machine that is suppose to catch me if I have a gun or a knife. Apparently I didn't bring one because they let me through. Anyway, this guy flags me for another look at my license. This is the third time today. He stared at it for like thirty seconds. That's weird. Then he looks up at me, and goes back to inspecting my license. Then he looked at me again and said, and I am completely serious here, he said 'nice smile'. Just like that. 'Nice smile'.

Now, call me whatever you want, but I have never had another guy tell me I have a nice smile. It's kind of weird, isn't it? I felt a bit taken aback. I had no response. What do I say? He slowly gave me back my license and I left. Should I have thanked him? I don't know what the etiquette is in situations like this. I don't want to lead him on, but I don't want to insult him either. I am vexed.

I get advice from lots of sources on my swim, my bike, my run. Everybody has an opinion. 'keep your elbow up', 'don't point your toes', ' don't run on your heels', and of course my favorite, 'don' be a scaredy'. None of it really helps. I don't need more bad advice. If somebody said 'carry a roll of nickels in your left hand and you will run 8 minute miles', that would be good advice. That would help.

I just realized, people give me advice that doesn't help. So, if you want to give me advice, fine, but it better be good.