Monday through Thursday, my week is spent balancing opposing
goals. I get up at 4:45, then I do just enough training before work
to maintain some modest fitness level, then I do just enough work to
keep from getting fired. Some of the lower sorts might refer to my
plan as minimalist. They might be right. After work, I train again
for a bit. I am usually still tired from the mornings workout, so I
don't try to set the world on fire.
That leaves about twenty minutes a day to build little piles of
stuff I need to work out the following day. I build a little pile of
bike stuff, like bike shoes, helmet, gloves and a couple gels. I
build another pile of running stuff, like shoes, socks, compression
socks and a couple of gels. Lastly, I build a smaller pile of swim
stuff. Its just my goggles and swim shorts. No gels. Honestly,
that takes twenty minutes a day. Then I have two or three minutes to
listen to my wife, then I fall asleep. Some days, I look at my bike to see if I can bag out on the ride
due to a mechanical. If it has a scratch, I call my training
partners and tell them I am out of action for 2 weeks.
It's an incredibly interesting life I have carved out for myself.
Weekends are where the real training is done. Weekdays, you just workout as you can. Weekends, you put in the effort and you put in the time. A couple weeks ago,
one of my training partners and I were doing a great job trying to
fit a three hour ride into a four hour window by getting lost in
Sumner. If you don't know where Sumner is, just ride West a bit and
stop when you get lost. I can't describe it any better than that.
Anyway, we were limping along looking for a road that seemed
familiar and things were sort of getting Twilight Zoney. We were
making all the right navigational choices, but the planet kept
changing the direction to home. We stopped to think it out, then we
pointed the direction we thought home was and each of us pointed in a
different direction. It was sort of an Abbott and Costello moment.
We rode for a bit more, then, still lost, we pulled off to the
side of the road. We looked around and realized that we were sitting
in the parking lot of a coffee shop, so we went in to ask directions.
Had we realized what type of coffee shop it was, we probably
wouldn't have gone in. I know I would have just kept on going,
riding lost forever. But, we didn't know what kind of a place it was
until we went inside and then it was too late. We had stumbled into
one of those bikini barista coffee shops that I read about. I didn't
know what to do.
First, it was obvious that we needed sustenance, so we ordered a
couple mochas from one of the two girls working there. It was like
six bucks total, so I gave them fifty bucks and told them to keep the
change. Before we bought the coffee, they seemed a little standoffish, but they were really nice after a forty four dollar tip.
We started to make small talk.
We asked if they like working at a coffee shop, they said it was OK. We asked if they ever spilled hot coffee on their bare skin, one of the girls showed
us a burn mark from she spilled hot coffee on her thigh. I was
pretty interested in that. We talked about their tattoos. Both girls were
happy to show us all their tattoos. Again, I was interested. We
talked about lingerie. I didn't know that it was uncomfortable. Did you know that? It
sounds interesting, but now, I think I didn't need to know that. I
just assumed girls like to wear lingerie. Now I am sort of bummed that I know that.
So maybe an hour later, we ran out of small talk, and we had to get going anyway, but we still were
lost. The girls couldn't help. They didn't know where we lived.
They didn't seem to know where they lived.
Me: “Where are we?”
Girl #1 “What?”
Me: “Which way do I go to get home?”
Girl #1: “I'm, uh, not really sure.”
Me: “OK, if I wanted to get to Kent or Renton, which way
would I go?”
Girl #1 Doesn't say anything, she just squeezes her eyebrows
together and tilts her head like my dog does when the ambulance goes
by.
Girl #2 Ignores me.
Me: “Which way is North?”
Girl #1: “Which way is mocha? You already have one. You are
tooo funny!”
Me: “OK. Which way do you come from when you come to
work? Do you cross the bridge or do you come down 5th
avenue? Do you live someplace not here?”
Girl #1: “Oh, I don't drive anymore. My boyfriend borrowed
my car when he was arrested but he didn't do it.”
Me: “He
didn't do what?”
Girl #1: “He didn't sell crack. He was just carrying. The cops said he was selling. That's not fair. They can't do that, can they?”
Me: “I need to leave.”
Girl #2: “He gets out in June.”
Me: "What?"
Girl #2; "Her boyfriend is getting out in June, then they are getting married."
Me: “That's great. He didn't do it huh? And married too? That's really great."
Girl#1 and Girl #2: They both smile.
Me: "So, one more question. Where are we now?”
Girl #1: “Do you like my nails? I just got new nails. See, my name is spelled out on my nails.”
I still can't work out how you misspell 'Jill'.
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