The Rooster

I am tapering. For me that means I just sort of do what feels good. If I feel like running, I run, if I feel like swimming, I swim, if I feel like biking, I watch a youtube video of last years ironman world championship since my bike is in a truck with about 500 other bikes, migrating south like a herd of geese. I am hopeful the bike ends up in the Phoenix area.

Today I ran 4 miles with my trusty dog Tugger. We run on a great trail, but to get there, we have to run down this road with a bunch of houses for about a half mile. So, my dog and I were running, minding our own business when he saw a cat and took off like a shot, to do what dogs do when they see cats; he ran up to the cat to say hello and snap his doggy jaws around the fat, lazy cat. It just happened that the cat was on a porch and that would have been OK, but the lady that was sitting in the chair on the porch holding the cat got pissed for no reason, because my dog was just saying hello, biting on the cat in her lap. I am not even sure he was biting hard. Now that I think of it, I am pretty sure he was mostly gumming the cat, because there was very little blood. I don't think its my fault or my dogs fault that the cat scratched the crap out of the lady's legs and face trying to get away from the dog. How is that my fault? She should control her cat. Now that I think of it, who the hell is she to hit my dog with her coffee cup? That's just rude.

In the book “Outliers', the author claims that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to achieve greatness. I think that probably is true, and it explains my lack of success in Ironman. I train for 6 months in preparation for an Ironman and the average time I spent per week is about 13 hours of swimming and running and biking. Early in the training phase, I hit 8 hours a week, later in the training cycle, I hit 20 hours so I think that is an average of about 13 hours. Doing some quick math, that gives me 338 hours of training in a six month period in preparation for Ironman. I am 9662 hours short of greatness.

I am watching MMA while I type this and one of the guys fighting has a tattoo of a chain link fence on his back. I don't know what that means. Why would you get a life-size chain link fence on your back? Most tattoos you can figure out. If the guy has a picture of a motorcycle across his neck, he probably likes motorcycles, if he has a name on his arm like Amelia, he probably got the tattoo about a week before somebody named Amelia dumped him for a guitar player in a band. But a fence? I don't get it. I am thinking that if I do really well in the upcoming IM, I am going to get a tattoo. If I struggle, I am not going to get one. Do well - tattoo. Do poorly - no tattoo. Hmmm. My money is safe for another year.

In my last IM, I dreamed of putting the 140.6 sticker in the back window of my truck. I thought about it in CDA while I was swimming and was scared, I thought about it when I was running and wanted to quit. When I got tired, I thought about it and it helped me keep going. That motivation is gone. I don't have a replacement motivator. Any ideas out there? I got nothin'.

Last point: How do you judge success? Some small group that didn't breastfeed as infants seem to think they are successful if they come in first in their age group. Morons. Another group have a time goal. If they hit 12 hours, they feel like they succeeded. Again, morons. The other 80% of us have other goals that define success. Personally, finishing seems like a pretty big mountain right now. Just getting through the swim is a big deal. If you don't believe me, try it. Go out and swim 2.4 with some psychopath beating you in the head and shoulders for an hour plus. Then, ride 6 freakin hours with no purpose other than just to wear you down. Then run like Forrest Forrest Gump. For me, its a 6 hour run. Perfect.  I am ready.

If I can finish and not do permanent damage I am going to be crowing like a rooster.