Sunday, April 29, 2012

It Was a Bad Weekend

People are different.  A friend of mine says that everybody possesses some heaven-sent talent or gift, the trick is finding it.  Maybe he is right, I don't know.  It sounds like a crock to me, but I have been known to be wrong before so maybe I should just let that one go.  I do know that my talent this past weekend, if you can call it talent, was causing a series of disasters.  I tried everything possible to kill myself.  The scary part for me is that the weekend isn't over yet.

Much like Dicken's 'A Christmas Carol', the following vignettes are related in that they happen in series, one after the other, and I am suppose to learn a lesson as they are shown to me.

Number One - I went for a bike ride with Duane and Jim.  My bike was making a weird noise so I had my head down, looking between my legs to the rear of the bike while I rode, trying to find the source of the noise.  I wasn't looking where I was going, but I was only going maybe six or eight miles an hour, I heard a noise like a 'Uhhaaahhhg', I looked up just in time to see Duane trying to get out of the way.  I hit him square in the chest with my shoulder.  I wobbled over to the side of the road.  I didn't fall off my bike, which was a miracle in itself.  I should have fallen off and broken a wrist or shoulder.  Duane was fine.

Number Two - Later that night, Duane and my wife Patty and I were in the boat, drinking wine and wandering around the lake.  I was driving, not really looking where I was going.  I do it all the time.  I go slow and I am sure it is perfectly safe.  Anyway, I hit a log.  I should have broken the boat, but I think it is fine.  What I want to know is who put that log there?  And while I am thinking about it, back to Number One, why was Duane standing where I was riding anyway?

Number Three - Today, my wife and I took the dog and went for a bike ride on our mountain bikes.  I was going down a short hill, not too steep, but as it turned out, it was steep enough.  I wasn't paying attention, I had all my weight over the front wheel, I was looking back to see where Patty was, I was using the front brake and 'wham' I flipped over the front, landing on my wrist and rolling onto my back.  I should have broken my wrist.  It hurts but I think it's OK.
Crap, I can't stop thinking about Number One.  Did I hit Duane or did he hit me?

Number Four - I just got done swimming. Jim and I swam a mile in the lake.  I usually spot every seven strokes.  That means I don't look up for six strokes, then on the seventh, I pick my head up and grab a peek to see where I am going.  I guess I forgot to count to seven.  I got stuck on three for about twenty strokes so....  I knew I was off course when the dock hit my forehead so hard it made me dizzy.  Notice I didn't say that I hit the dock, I said the dock hit me because I still don't know how that dock moved from way over there to right in front of my head.  Was Duane on that dock?  I didn't look but now that I think about it, I am sure somebody did move that dock while I was swimming.

Anyway, like I said, the day isn't over.  I am going to sit here on the couch and not move for the rest of the day.  It's a self preservation thing at this point.

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