Scales

Weight is a big deal in anything you do.  Walking up stairs isn't hard if you are in good shape and don't carry extra weight.  Try carrying a 40 pound bag of dog food and you get an idea of what being overweight can do to you.  Then try running with that bag of dogfood for 6 hours.  Weight is a monster.

I have been dieting for 3 months with no success.  I gained a pound.  Maybe that diet isn't working.  So I started a new diet ten days ago.  It is working, but I am hungry all the time.  I call it the 'hungry all the time' diet. I think I will write a book and make a million.

One way to gauge your diet success is the muffin-pants method.  Put on a pair of pants and reach around and grab some muffin top.  Don't be shy, grab it all, you own it.  If you grab more muffin top that you did a week ago in the same pair of pants, the diet isn't working.   If you aren't sure, ask somebody who owes you money 'Does my muffin top look smaller?'.  I think that is a pretty good way to go.

 I like the muffin-pants method, but I have a bad memory so I convince myself that all is well and I can go ahead and eat that last Ho-Ho.  No matter how much muffin top I grab, I am sure it is smaller than last week's grab.

The other, less fun way to measure diet success is to get on a scale.  Today I swam an hour, then got on the scale at the gym.  They have one of those expensive scales like they have at the doctors office.  I looked it up, those things start at 200 bucks.  That expensive piece of crap had me at 198 pounds, which I know is wrong.  All those doctor office scales are about 3 pounds heavy.  They look expensive but they are all inaccurate.

I got home and weighed in on the bathroom scale.  Actually, I have two bathroom scales.  One cost about eighty bucks, has an electronic display and is always two pounds heavy, and it had me at 195.3.  The other, completely accurate scale from Walmart on sale at under twenty bucks about fifteen years ago had me at 193.  So I weigh 193.  I know that is right.  Cool. When I was in college, I weighed 195 -200 my senior year so I feel pretty good about that.